CANON ixus 700
A camera that I want...

busy... STILL

I'm so busy...
I think I'm going to *cry*.
I got too much work to do...
And, these stuff are not uni related.
Then again $420 makes for good money.
Oooh! I start a new job at SUBWAY today..
^_^

I'm all apologies.
I know I'm supposed to go yumcha and dimsum with you guys.
Sorry to Darren, Rain, Cindy and Crys.


on maturity...

You know, I think it is a sign of maturity...
when a cute girl asks you out
and you refuse because you have prior commitments

feelings of ~like~

The feelings of like starts from the ears,
because you liked what you have heard.
If you ever need to stop to like,
you only ever need to cover your ears.

The feeling of like starts from the eyes,
because you liked what you have seen.
If you ever need to stop to like,
you only ever need to close your eyes.

If you ever need to stop to like,
when you close your eyes and shed a tear...
the feeling of love begins.

busy...

sorry to Rain today... AIKS!
I know you went through all the trouble to get Ariel out last night.
THANK YOU!
Went to A1 for dinner and I met the fabled Ariel for the first time.
I didn't get to be nice 2 Ariel... >_<
I have too many things on my mind lately.

Yes... I do think that she is gorgeous.
stun kau me HAHA!
I can see why Clifford had a try at her at Amber Lounge (second hand story from Rain)

Anyways...
I got to get back to work...

tong hua li dou shi pian ren de...

I was feeling hungry
so I dialed around for yumcha kaki
had supper with Darren, Rain and she brought a friend along
I met another Cindy, a Miss Wan Yu I believe
whom now I believe that all girls with that name... are pretty
at Supper Inn we ordered big big bowl of century egg, pork n congee
had a side serve of chinese donuts or yu tiau
sent Darren home and decided that I was feeling lethargic
had slept the whole day away today...
so I drove down the highway to High St past Malvern
and I decided that tong hua li dou shi pian ren de...

"you came and told me, with tears in your eyes...
that fairytales are all lies"

Tong Hua - fairytales
by Michael Guang Liang

PIN YING

wang le you duo jiu
zai mei ting dao ni
dui wo shuo ni zui ai de gu shi
wo xiang le hen jiu
wo kai shi huang le
shi bu shi wo you zuo cuo le shen me

ni ku zhe dui wo shuo
tong hua li dou shi pian ren de
wo bu ke neng shi ni de wang zi
ye xu ni bu hui dong
cong ni shuo ai wo yi hou
wo de tian kong xing xing dou liang le

wo yuan bian cheng tong hua li
ni ai de na ge tian shi
zhang kai shuang shou
bian cheng chi bang shou hu ni
ni yao xiang xin
xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li
xin fu he kuai le shi jie ju

wo yao bian cheng tong hua li
ni ai de na ge tian shi
zhang kai shuang shou
bian cheng chi bang shou hu ni
ni yao xiang xin
xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li
xin fu he kuai le shi jie ju

wo hui bian cheng tong hua li
ni ai de na ge tian shi
zhang kai shuang shou
bian cheng chi bang shou hu ni
ni yao xiang xin
xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li
xin fu he kuai le shi jie ju

yi qi xie wo men de jie ju



ENGLISH

I have forgotten how long it was
since I last heard you
tell me your favorite story
I have been thinking for a very long time
I'm beginning to feel paranoid
had I made any mistakes again

you came and told me with tears in your eyes
that fairytales are all lies
it's impossible for me to be your prince charming
maybe you will not understand
that after the moment when you said you loved me
the stars in my sky, began to shimmer and shine

I'm willing to be the angel whom you love
as in the fairytales
I'll open my arms wide
and let them become wings to protect you
you have to believe
believe that we will be like as in the fairytales
with happiness and joy as the endings

everything is our beautiful ending

on my weekend...

I have just lived through one of my most alive weekends after such a long time. I was completely tired the whole of today after the assignments and karaoke... after everything. I can't really say that I had enjoyed the experience. The assignments, study and exam was just stressful. Today, I had just came back after a group meeting in the city and just crashed until about 15 mins ago. I'm feeling a little light headed now but I'll be fine.

It's the experience after that I enjoy 'cause you know you survived it. I'm here NOW blogging about it. It's like how Kwang and Ming described their ill fated trip up Cameron's. They really thought they were fkd when their car died in the middle of nowhere. But, now they laugh about it and their experience makes a good story.

It feels like I am under a hot shower now, after working out at the gym.

"Change your thoughts and you change your world."
- Norman Vincent Peale

unethical behaviours...

I was going through my notes last night on security. I had a really rough exam this morning. I was so sleepy and tired 'cause I had spent the better part of the night up cramming. Why don't you try sitting for a paper when you're drugged up on 2 cafe mochas and 3 espressos? God bless America, they gave us Starbucks.

Anyways, I found this really good chapter on ethics. What is ethics? There is ever the Law that governs societal behaviour and a man's personal principles and morals. Ethics is sort of the bastard child in the middle. It governs the individual by the accepted societal norms. The fact that it is not quite enforceable makes it unique.

The chapter on ethics, I found, was really self-righteous and philosophical. I really didn't appreciate it much. But, I did find this section they had on unethical behaviours to be interesting. It explains that the world should try and breed out these behavioural categories. I'm going to be comparing these behavioural categories in terms of ethics and law.



Unethical Behaviour Categories

Ignorance

Ignorance is bliss. And yet, ignorance is not an excuse for unethical behaviour.

'I did not know that I should not be late. What do you mean punctuality is a virtue?' The previous statement just sounds a little strange. 'I'm so sorry. I didn't know that you are not meant to kill.' The fact that ignorance is not a valid excuse by law explains alot. The book states that society should share knowledge and information as a community. By informing people of ethics the book intends to foster ethical conduct.


Accidents

Ever heard someone say, 'Whoopsie! I didn't mean to kill you...' You really can't just say I dropped a nuke on your country by accident. The same applies to situations that questions ethics. I mean, c'mon, ethics is about stuff like being responsible and having integrity. Simply saying that your actions are accidents is just like shifting blame. 'It wasn't me.'

I really didn't mean it... but, 'accidents do happen'. Well, shit happens too.


Intentioned

And, the worst are those unethical actions are done intentionally. The law defines murder class one as a premeditated action. These guys here have really thought it through and planned the action. There is no other third party here to shift the blame to or an external extrenuating circumstance that compelled you to do what you did.

I'd say it's all in the consequences of the actions. There should be punishments and rewards to control these behaviours. But, then again, ethics is really unenforceable.

today...

I'm awake now... *yawn*
My clock do be saying 8:19pm
I'm feeling really HUNGRY and LIGHT~HEADED
I mean light headed as in really ~high~ and free floating
It's surreal man... haha
NOTE: I'm not on drugs...

Argh... I woke up to the sound of my mobile phone *ringing*
Kelly wanted the number of Suzanna
So she decided, let's wake Chris up and annoy him.
Haven't heard from or spoken with her for a loooooooooong.... time
Hoping to catch up with all my buddies after exams...
It's not her fault I was cranky.
I doubt she knows I had a bad weekend...
Crys told me it was a productive (WTF?) weekend though.
I laughed...

I never want to do last minute work ever again... this I swear!
I know... I know...
I know I had also said that last semester...

heh!

asleep...

Gonna grab some sleep...

Asleep at 4pm
Gotta be up at 8pm
And goin' for k at 9pm

that makes for 4 hours staying under...

an exam and karaoke

I got an exam again this saturday... BOO!!!
My final... last... THE END... assessment for InfoSec.

Finished the report today at 5:00pm and handed it in.
Went for a quickie after... *dinner*
Then I was at Yumiko's... been studying the whole night at Yumiko's... argh!
Had heaps of fun studying (eh?) with Rain, Yumi, Darren and Crys.
Anh (Yumi's beau) then took us to Nocturno's for brekkie

Hope I've prepared enough... anyway, it's a little late for regrets.
Trying to cram some last minute study in now.
I'm not going to catch any sleep, it's 6:55am.
I got to be up by 8:00am anyway...

then... later tonight!

I got karaoke again this Saturday... YEA!!!
Hope I can still make it...
and not fall asleep at k.
Hope I don't kill anyone...
with my voice being what it is (noise pollution?) SIGH...

I must remember charge the digi-camera
Else, we might have problems getting pictures.
Hope to upload new pics this time on Sunday.



~_~' and then ^_^

still ~security~ but... EXAM

I'm getting sick of this subject.
Final assessment for security is tommorow.
I have a final test at 9:00am and another case study test at 11:15am.
Wish me luck?

This security thing is NOT doing anything for the security of my sanity.



I'm singing...

Learning to breathe
by Switchfoot

LYRICS

Hello... good morning... how~dya~do?
Whats makes YOUR rising sun so new?~
I could use a fresh beginning too
All my regrets are nothing new

So this is the way, that I say... I need you
This is the way...
This is the way... that...

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
I'm living again... awake and alive
I'm dieing to breathe in these abundant skies

hello... good morning... how~you've~been?
yesterday left my head kicked in
I never, never thought that
I would fall like that
never knew that I could hurt this bad

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
I'm living again... awake and alive
I'm dieing to breathe in these abundant skies
these abundant skies... yeah
abundant skies... yeah

this is the way that I say I need you
this is the way that I say I love You
this is the way that I say I'm yours
this is the way
this is the way

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
I'm living again... awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Yes I'm dying to breathe in
these abundant skies
these abundant skies... yeah yeah yeah yeah

I'm learning to breathe
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Hello... good morning... how~dya~do?
how~dya~do?
how~dya~do?

assignments STILL STILL ~security~

i'm sleepy *yawn*
i have a presentation
i'm gonna be on video
i do not want to be on video
my group members want me to do some conclusion
i gotta type out some report
i'm banging on my blog...

i'm in denial...


final day of security!
it's due in at 5pm


assignments... bane of my existance.

~_~'

Marketing...

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her, and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition.

on being haggard...

Today my self esteem took a slight topple.
While in the labs, Rain did say that I do not look anything like my sister.
I do not look like Stefi? hmmm...
Well, in my defence, I look alot more like mother.
And, my sisters have my father's features.



Stefi KEAH... so cute



Stefi KEAH... so pretty


Rain then continued by saying that Stefi is sooo... pretty.
I was really happy to hear that.
'cause that means I might one day get to attend my baby sis's wedding.
Then Rain had to add the WHY I don't look like my sister.
She asked if, when I was born, did my mum picked me up from somewhere?

SIGH...
I'm an ugly guy...
~_~



Chris KEAH... so normal, I'm trying to smile there.



Chris KEAH... so being STOOPID



Chris KEAH... erm, no comment.


There are days I do wish I looked like Brad Pitt...
or maybe Andy Lau...
or perhaps Wang Lee Hom...

Alright... I'll shut up now and go to sleep.

AC Milan 3 - 4 Liverpool

The finals in the EUFA Champion's League was on last night...
I was asleep... because I was tired, from assignments.
I had missed the game... sigh!

I had missed a great game.
AC Milan was supposedly leading by 3 points at half time.
Logic dictates that there is no way Liverpool would be able to equalize.
And yet, Liverpool did THAT in exactly 7 minutes...
Then... Liverpool won in the penalty shootout.

That sounds like an exciting match!
and I MISSED it...

assignments... bane of my existance

~_~'

Jolin TSAI
new album J-Game

I used to follow her early career when she was all cutesy.
Now she is all grown up... glam and sex appeal.
She looks hot...

Show me Jack and Coke and I'll drink it...

I wanna destress...

trends.doc

I had a minor *heart attack* today.
trends.doc happens to an important file.
It forms a key component of my final report.
Me and Yumiko was hunting about for it...
Then we checked the recycle bin... the stoopid file was inside.

I guess that it was really cold on the desktop.
trends.doc decided that, being the smart file it is, it would crawl into the recycle bin.
'cause it is warmer inside the bin...

et tu?

assignments STILL ~security~

I'm feeling so... so... sad. I've been in the RMIT computer labs crafting this stupiak assignment since 10am. I'm on a break from Information Security... it's not union (read as assignment group) sanctioned. So I'll be really quiet. I'm gonna head off for dinner soon...

I wish I playing an RPG and had crafting skills. I could have my race as a Chinese Banana and my class as a poor Uni Student. I would specialize in Essay Crafting and make my money selling Essays +1 and Reports +1 on my vendor.

How is it that uni life in a RPG seem more fun than real life?


assignments... bane of my existance.

~_~'

assignments ~security~

I'm so sad... I'm sitting here in uni blogging. Very simply 'cause I lack time in my days. I have assignments coming out of the ying yang demanding they get done. Else, the elder gods of my university fate will cut short my bachelor degree destiny.

Well, back to work... I hear my group members cracking the whip. They are harsh taskmasters.

assignments... bane of my existance

~_~'

a solution?

I know I have to stop complaining about my situation. It really does not matter about what circumstances are conspiring against me. It's a total mental state of mind thing. I am really just being bitter and wallowing in my own self-pity. It is really an immature response from me. I just want to take the easy way out and point fingers at something... to blame anything.

But I know that it will not help me feel happier.

What is happiness? I have read much on the subject. And, I know what I know
about it and I can reason it out with myself. I am self-aware. All of humanity is... it just matters if you want to acknowlege it. I know that I need to take control and accept responsibility for your my own happiness. I know I need to learn to diversify my sources of happiness... in case you lose one of them.

I just don't feel that I am a big enough person today to face it.



Something's missing. And, I don't know how to fix it.
Something's missing. And, I don't know what is is.
I don't know what it is.
And, I don't know what it is... at all.
- John Mayer

i'm feelin' down today...

I woke up today not feeling 100%.

It's much like as if my heart is wrapped in stone today. I find myself rather emotionally negative this gloomy morning. The skies are grey and the wind is cold. My room seems dark and depressing, even after I had drawn the blinds open. I feel constricted within the walls of my life. I had a think about my current situation and I've come to the conclusion I do not have anything thats makes me feel fulfilled.

I had then decided to go brighten up my day by sitting in front of my PS2. Usually, by playing games I feel much better and happier. I had just sat in front of said PS2 and completed DMC3. I had gone through the last three levels since 9am... had beaten Arkham and Vergil. I even got to see the ending. I felt no elation what-so-ever at my acheivement.

Dad was awake and decided to share a cup of coffee with me. I engaged him in one of our conversations about everything under the sun. I love my father... I have great respect for him. We dicussed the Arsenal vs Man Utd match and about football (read as soccer) in general. I criticized the protesters on Bourke St and shared my views on human intellect and philosophy. Dad argued about extremism and how some people "just don't bloody care." We discussed the economic state of the world. I love talking to my dad, I learn and experience through him. Yet, I do not feel any better...

And, then... I asked dad about my future.

What is my future? The future is never written in stone, it is what you make of it. The vision of what I want to be eludes me. I want to be all that I can be. And, what might "all I can be" really be about? I have it good as I can stay on in Australia after I finish or I may opt to return to Malaysia. I can try my luck in Sydney or in Sillicon Valley. I could do a few years in Europe and travel France, Czech and England. I might join my uncle at IBM in Auckland or I could work for Shell on an offshore drilling platform.

I am currently listening to John Mayer - Something's Missing. I can identify with the song... Something is really missing from my life, and I don't know how to fix it. I wish I was feeling really alone without friends and family who love me. All this, so I can blame my loneliness for my negativity today. But, I had just received a call from KL by my cheerful aunt. She called to just say hello. I know am supposed to feel loved but... I don't feel anything.

I feel very down and the lethargy is greatly annoying me. I am not even sure if my current state of mind is because of my own imagination...



"It is neither wealth nor splendor; but tranquility and occupation which give you happiness."
- Thomas Jefferson

05-21-2005 karaoke at Forest Hill KTV

I remembered I promised photos...
^_^
I wished I had remembered to charge my stoopid camera battery.
The thing died when I was just about starting my round of getting pics with everyone.

Sincerest apologies to those who I missed out with...
There will DEFINATELY be a next time.




Me and Heng... my super drinking heng tai. After 3 End of the World and can still stand.



That night Darren was not so ngam keng... drunk liao.



Stoopid Lamborghini hit me.
Old friends and new... Aaron, me and Darren.



I got 4 fingers... wait, how come now I see 2?
'Cause got stoopid TREE in the middle...



Tony was so bored... he fell asleep.



Ah Boi and Ah Lian... I can go on and on about la la jokes.



Ah Boi, Heng, Ah Lian and WaiPeng... why Wai Peng so shy?



Thats my baby sis Stefi with Darren there... boleh tahan!



Here is Slipper... WTF?, Chris, Ah Boi and Ah Lian...

wo bu gou ai ni

Andy Lau and Kelly Chen
from the album of Nan Ren De Ai
Wo Bu Gou Ai Ni or 'I don't think I love you enough'

Don't you think that song is just so sad...



PIN YING

Wo xiang wo bu gou ai ni
Wo bu chen wang le zi ji
Mei na me chuen xin tou ru
Suo yi hui yi pai tu di

Wo xiang wo bu gou ai ni
Wo wang le ni de yong qi
Mei pan fa zhong lai yi ci
Ye zhi hao ting tian you ling

Bu neng zai mei you yue liang de ye li
Ye bu neng qing yi, dou bi shang yan qin
Ying wei ni hui chu xian
Zai tian kong huo xin li

Bu neng zai yi wang wu jing de di fang
Ye bu neng zuang jin, na yong qi ren qun
Ying wei chi bu chi mo
Do hui qi xing wo
Wo shi qu le
Wo bu gou ai de ni


ENGLISH

I think I don't love you enough
I've never forgotten myself
I didn't give wholeheartedly
so I suffered a crushing defeat

I think I don't love you enough
I've forgotten your courage
There's no way to try again
so I can only resign myself to this fate

I can't be in a night without moonlight
I also can't close my eyes easily
Because you will appear in the sky or my heart

I can't be in a place where the horizon stretches as far as the eyes can see
I also can't drill my way into a jam-packed crowd of people
Because lonely or not, it will all remind me
I've lost you
whom I didn't love enough

Andy LAU and Kelly CHEN
at the Metro Music Awards 2000
performing their award winning song Wo Bu Guo Ai Ni

career...

Go see Chu Kwang's Xanga site...
http://www.xanga.com/chukwang

Kwang here had a recent post about his interviews 'cause he is job hunting. He had a good qeustion on what you want out of your career. I gave it some thought and posted the (thoughts) in a comment. Here is the full text of the whole comment.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chu Kwang's What you're looking for in a career? Survey...

b) Experience and e) Growth (personal) - I rank these as the top priority because my main goal of working in the first few years is for the experience. I want to develop myself personally and gain the maximum ammount of exposure in the business world. It is a suggested goal to open your own business in the future and be your own boss... the great chinaman dream. I'm keeping my options open...

a) Net Income - Survival and maintenence of your lifestyle, not No 1 for me cause I'm blessed with GREAT parents. I know I should grow up and be independant. But, I intend to take it slow and enjoy myself for the first few years out of uni. I want to go and club and see what the KL nights have to offer. The house, the car and the white picket fences with the labrador (read as dog) can come later... in a few years.

d) Great Management - If your boss hates you, would you want to go to work? And, even though you may be paid 6k a month, if management witholds your salary, you don't get anything. Then, they'd go ahead and conveniently forget to pay your EPF. Damn those chinaman companies.

j) Exposure - not really relevant to IT guys, 'cause we are usually kept in the back room programming. But, I'd like to meet a few greats like the tengkus and the tan sris so that I'd have contacts in the business world.

i) Structured Increments

f) Company provided Training and Development - This very important for IT people 'cause we simply have to keep ourselves up to date. It's known as upskilling and to pay for the courses and certification exams yourself will kill. And the exchange rate to the USD doesn't help either.

h) Structured Promotion - Final goal of ending up as a IT Systems Architect. It justs sounds sexy to the nerd populace... heh!

c) Working Environment - aquariums, gyms, fancy desks, ergonomics, latest PCs, foosball, ps2, free coke and deli lunches... This must be Redmond, USA. (read as Microsoft HQ)

g) Great Benefits - I'd prefer to choose my own car and go on trips with my own friends and family. No way the company will provide you with a BMW or a mercBenz and LET YOU KEEP IT. Besides... I don't think they'd sponsor me my dream car of a Nissan Silvia anyway. And, company events aren't that crash hot. I did do a corporate lunch (WOW... big words...) with the guys at my internship and it was not great fun. There ever was the political office backstabbing and gossips. You had to be on your best behaviour and Max (a colleague) got reprimanded 'cause he got drunk and was bright red all over the hotel foyer. You just can't do certain stuff with company guys.

k) others - Can't think of any right now... wait... Other things to consider is the working enviroment. Can you fit in with the team? Can you speak the guys language? If they all are cina-cina type people, it's going to be very hard 'cause I don't speak mandarin.What about the workload? Some companies' suck the life out of you. You work long hours and the tasks are hard and draining. I believe I lost my gf when I did my internship because I had no quality time left to spend with her. It's always a trade off between showing the company that you are committed and balancing your personal life (social, gf, friends and FAMILY). Financial remuneration is often the biggest draw card when you are younger but time becomes more important when you go up the ladder, have more responsibilities and grow older. Is your company going to support you when the time comes?

I'm actually afraid of coming out of uni now. After my horror experience of being exploited (sort of...) by a chinaman company, I'm definately VERY wary of these style of companies. They are not necessarily fly-by-night but often they are close enough. Take care when you accept your job offer. Don't start and then quit your job 'cause the pressure is amounted to you going crazy. I have a friend who had gone through 3 chinaman companies here in Melb. His resume looks SUSPECT , 'cause he has moved so often in the past 2 years. Now that he is going for interviews again, it is a hassle to explain himself.

Keah.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a guy who is NOT SHY... at all !!!

Who is Steven Lim?
http://www.stevenlim.net/

Disclaimer: I am not reponsible for your psychological trauma after viewing this guy's website.



This website ihas got ot be the most blatant form of shameless self promotion. The fact that he just does not get it makes it all the more unbearable and painful. It is like looking at something painful, your eyes are sore but you just cannot look away. Note, he thinks he looks like Stephen Fung...

It is both disturbing as it is facinating.

Arsenal 1 - 0 Manchester United

Arsenal are this season's champions of the FA Cup.
Funny... 'cause Tierry Henry was sidelined 'cause of injuries.
That match was such a boring game...
The first 20 minutes was exciting with Man Utd attacking relentlessly.
Then both sides got really defensive.
Van Nistelrooy has got to be the worse player in that match.
He was so lazy... He wouldn't even run for the ball.
Probably had not had his breakfast that morning.
I think Man Utd deserved to win.
In the last few moments of extra time, they were brilliantly annoying Arsenal.
They had an impressive 23 tries at the goal... 9 were on target.
But, failed to deliver.
Roony was ever the playmaker but his shots were often wide.
Scholes lost the penalty shootout for Man Utd.

All in all, I had wasted time watching that game.
I was expecting a Man Utd win...

Only Heaven Knows
by Rick Price
cover by Anthony CALLEA

she is always on my mind
from the time I wake up 'til I close my eyes
she is everywhere I go
she is all I know

although she is so far away
iIt just keeps getting stronger everyday
and even now she is gone I'm still holding on
so tell me where do I start 'cause its breaking my heart
don't want to let her go

maybe my love will come back someday
only heaven knows
maybe our hearts will find a way
only heaven knows
and all I can do is hope and pray
'cause heaven knows

my friends keep telling me
that if you really love her you got to set her free
and if she returns in time, I'll know she is mine
so tell me where do I start, 'cause its breaking my heart
don't wan to her let get go

maybe my love will come back someday
only heaven knows
maybe our hearts will find a way
but only heaven knows
and all I can do is hope and pray
'cause heaven knows

why do I live in despair 'cause wide awake or dreaming I know she is never there
and all the time that I act so brave, I'm shaking inside
why does it hurt me so?

maybe my love will come back someday
only heaven knows
maybe our hearts will find a way
but only heaven knows.
and all I can do is hope and pray
'cause heaven knows

heaven knows...

heaven knows...

in a word... OMG!!!

I just got back from karaoke man... I'm buggered.
Hneg can drink... he drinks people under the table.
Heng has the voice of Andy Lau... He is THAT good.
He performed the "I don't think I love you enough" by Andy Lau and Kelly Chen.
On a side note, that Andy Lau is a lucky bastard.
He got his hands ALL OVER Kelly in that MV... heh!

I didn't get to sing much.
Stefi and I had songs on queue but they never came up.
That was a lil' waste...
I went for karaoke and I didn't get to sing... HAHA!

And, I almost went under the table.
It's really sick how there is so much *chewed* chewing gum there.
I visited under the table for a bit... heh!
I tried a few old and a few new stuff today.
Flaming Lamborghini? I prefer Ferarris or Maseratis...
Vodka, lemon & lime... my standard drink.
End of the World... I think I saw God after this one.
These new stuff I sampled are world killers.

After we had Mc'Ds 'cause there was nothing open.
We went to Boxhill to check out the China Bar.
They close at 4am... was so sad...

Anyway... this goes out to Kwang.
Why can't 2 see 4?
'cause there is a BIG TREE in the middle!
three and tree?!?
Get it? HAHA... That was just sooo... lame!



on fast drinks... FLAMING Lamborghinis

Heng said that the Flaming Lamborghinis in Australia ain't as cool as it is in KL.
In KL, apparently, they light the two lil' shot glasses.
You know... the stuff they pour into the main glass.
And, apparently, the stuff they pour in looks cool as they are lighted.
Flaming shit being poured into more flaming shit...
I wanna see that SHIT!!!
I was like, "Holy FK Batman! That's like fireworks on the 4th July."



on the End of the World

End of the World?!?
What a name for a drink...
But, seriously, it really is an END to the world.
I agreed to have a cowboy with Lian..
But, somehow they changed the drink we were having to this End of the World...
This stuff is strong.
First, they fill some shot glass with some of the HARDEST liquer I've tried.
They light the shit and catch the fumes in a steel martini shaker.
How do you drink it?
You drink the contents of the shot and inhale the fumes in your shaker.
The fumes is 100% alcohol...
It burns on the way in! Ouch!
I had about a short draught of the fumes and I was like enough...
I was feeling so ~high~ after I had to go sit down... heh!



on IXUS

Btw, I got photos this time.
I remembered my Ixus this time round.
I'll try and upload them tomorrow...

G'night...

Devil May Cry 3
Dante with Ebony and Ivory



This game is just awesome.
I have so much love for the Devil May Cry series.
The game designer themselves describes the series as "a stylish and difficult action game."
They have this crazy punk for a main character who hunts demons.
The game itself is well thought out... with a competent battle system and level design.
I just finished stage 13 and it has been just so much fun.


Highlights of DMC3!

I have killed a 3 headed demon puppy (yes! puppy... ask Dante) named Cerberus.
I have had crazy twin swords beat up on me, Agni and Rudra (Fire and Wind).
I have seen Dante air surf on a missile... et tu.
I have seen Dante kill demons with an ELECTRIC GUITAR...
I was like WTF! Definately wins the most unique weapon in a video game.
I have had Dante fight his own shadow.
I have also seen Dante fling a motorbike about, like nunchuks... et tu twice.
I even had Dante fight an annoyance (Lady) who'd run around and shoot missiles at me.
I'm currently trying for a level up of the Gunslinger Style where I can do Sniper later.

Devil May Cry 3
Vergil, Dante's twin brother

That is the Yamato he is carrying... a Katana.
And, I like the design for the hairstyle.
Perhaps for my next haircut...

Devil May Cry 3
Dante with Devil TRIGGER

Dante happens to be a half human/demon hybrid.
His dad was the great demon Sparda who got his claws on a human wife.
How does that work?

Michelle BRANCH
Sexy, Young and Talented indeed...

I got her new album on mp3!
And, he site I got the mp3s from had pictures.
She actually looks kinda hot considering a few years ago she was chubby and cute.

I happen to like the sound of guitars.
And, she happens to compose on the guitar.
I happen to like the sound of bands.
And, she happens to play in a band.

^_^

Tomorrow will be a better day

I'm tired from the day.
Goodnight.

on my integrity

"Judge me not for what I say, but for what I do."

Am I really doing the things I should be doing? I want to be judged and be seen to be a person of integrity and ability. Who does not want these goals? For, in the eyes of society, they are virtuous and honest ideals.

It is so easy for me to talk and share stories and affirm people. It is so easy to tell people what they need to hear. I can affirm people of their beliefs and share confidence to my peers. I can tell stories, share anecdotes and joke with friends forever. I asked myself this... "Am I qualified in my integrity to speak all that I have said?"

I need to draw the line sometime...



I'm a little lost these days. I call the very period of what I am doing as being adrift. I've been sleeping at the odd hours and waking up at odder hours. This should stop... I need to get myself back on track with mmy life. It's sad really 'cause the past few months I couldn't sleep unless I was body tired. That is the kind fatigue you feel when you are 120% uncapable of staying cognitive anymore, and you must sleep... should sleep.

I've been staying out until un~Godly times before coming back home. If it isn't late enough for me, I'll drive around and listen to my CDs until I'm good and ready. I have my good friends in Lin Jun Jie and Penny Tai... but what are their worth to me?Then, I'll walk into my room and just sit here and play with my blog... I am writing and thinking of things that are inconsequential to my future. Nonsense, if you will...

I believe I have mourned enough and I am ready to move on. I should not cry over spilt milk. My girlfriend had come into my life and she has left me an age ago. The feelings of love probably died out earlier than that. I have been clinging on to the ghosts of a past better remembered.

I am ready to TAKE BACK WHAT IS MINE. I miss the Christopher who was brash and so eager to learn in the first years of his university life. I want my life back. I miss the Christopher who wanted to take on all the project tasks during his internship year. I want to smile and smell the mornings. I miss the Christopher who drove fast and lived even faster. I want to wake up happy and attack the problems that make up... life. I'm ready to rethink my goals in my life.

What do I want out of the 50 odd years left of my existence on earth?

I sincerely do not know... and that scares me.

addiction~

Blogging is really addictive.
I'm going to stop now and go take a shower...
Is there a support group for Bloggers?

I have got work to do.
But, all I want to do is sit here n blog.
Or play DMC 3 on my PS2 ~playstation~

Procrastination... is my choice of suicide...

kriegspiel~

Thinking Machine 4 - CHESS
http://turbulence.org/spotlight/thinking/chess.html

I have been playing this heaps... FUN!

Chess is so much more fun...

When played online against a superior opponent...

Who isn't even alive...

I suck at chess... sigh

Interesting thing I came across...
Seems like this would be a lot of fun to play.


Kriegspiel CHESS variant

Kriegspiel is a variant of CHESS where both players are not able to see their opponent's pieces or moves. Therefore, you have to guess where your opponent's pieces are, to plan your strategy. There is a third party, named the server, who will tell you if a move is illegal. You will then have to try a different move. The server will also inform you if ypou are in check and what type of check it is. If it possible for you to capture a piece, the server will also inform you.

To play Kriegspiel well, it's important to keep track of how many pieces you have captured. It is important to try and find the location of your opponent's pieces, especially your oppenent's king. Beware of your king as there is always the possibility of early checkmate possibilities.

It is much like playing chess in the dark.

Goodnight...

It's 5 am.
I believe I have said all that I have to say.

Goodnight to me...

Jessica Alba
on the set of the Fantastic 4

I love her for the way she looks. Period. This girl just does it for me...

Kingdom of Heaven

What is Jerusalem worth? Nothing. Everything.

I have just watched the movie, the Kingdom of Heaven today. The whole movie was a great big mess, with a lot of loopholes in the plot and scenes that just seemed to have been cut short. I'm guessing that there was a need to shorten the movie length and they had done some heavy editing. The character development was non-existant and I had no idea why anyone was doing what they did. That was the biggest flaw in the movie.

The main protagonist, Balian of Ibelin, was played by Orlando Bloom. His character made not much sense as I followed the plot of the movie. How does a simple blacksmith become such a great tactician? His battle strategies to defend the walled city of Jerusalem was astounding. There was the charting of distance for his catapults with stained stones, the ballistae that brought down the siege towers and the defence of the breach at the sealed Jordan's Gate.

And, I do not personally believe that Bloom was a good cast for a war general. He is the latest in a long line of Hollywood pretty boys... I would not think that he displayed enough leadership and charisma to lead men into battle. I definately would not follow him into any street brawl, let alone an all out medieval war.

And another thing, how did the Saraceans get hold of trebuchets? Are not these siege engines the product of the French and not of the middle eastern kingdoms? I mean that they did come up with some great ideas like the scimitar and damascus steel. But, trebuchets? It was strange to see the Saraceans use these war machines in the movie.

Brilliant cast of Ghassan Massound as Saladin, the Muslim leader. The Saracean commander was just magnificient with an impressive screen presence. And, the King of Jerusalem is a great war general but was later cursed with leprosy. The irony of having a leper King defend the greatest Holy artefact in Christendom (the city of Jerusalem) was not lost on me.

The beginning of the movie was great. I had the expectations of watching a thought provoking movie and was disappointed. The movie never giva a good overview of the history of Jerusalem, so those ordinary action movie goers would definately have been lost. The movie tries to tackle some heavy and contoversial issues. Islam and Christianity have not been on speaking terms since time immemorial. And, the question of religion and morally correct conduct was never explored to any real depth.

A pity that I found this a mediocre movie.

"The Kingdom of Heaven is one of CONSCIENCE. It exists here (points to the head) and here (points to the heart), and they cannot take that away from you."

from memory~

I seem to recall that there were three Crusades launched into the Middle Eastern lands. And, not all of the Crusades involved the capture of the Holy City of Jerusalem. I vaguely recall Saladin as a general but I had never expected him to be the great Muslim leader of the Saraceans.

The last crusade was definately led by Richard the Lionhearted, King of England. His journey and battles in the middle eastern kingdom was the stuff of legends. An extraordinary warrior (very courageous and bloodthirsty...heh!) on the battlefield and a master strategist. The third and the last Crusade is considered by some to be the most famous of the Crusades.

la~ la~ la~ Love Song

Such an old song...
I have not heard this tune for over 3 years.
It happens to be the themefrom some Japanese drama... a long time ago.
I was listening to the new BOA album
The last song on that album had a very familiar name.
She had done a cover of this cute cute song...


la~ la~ la~ Love Song

by Toshinobu Kubota
cover by BOA and Soul'd Out

ROMANJI

Maware maware merry go round
Mou keshite tomaranai youni
Ugoki dashita melody
LA LA LA LA LA LOVE SONG

Dosha buri no gogo o matte Machi ni tabidasou
Kokoro ni furu ame ni Kasa o kureta kimi to
"Mappira!" to yokomoite Honne wa urahara
Demo sono mama de ii Otogaisuma dakara
Meguriaeta kiseki ga
You make me feel brand new
Namida no iro o kaeta
And I wanna love that's brand new

*Iki ga tomarukurai no Amai kuchizuke o shiyou yo
Hito koto mo iranai sa Tobikiri no ima o
Yuuki o kureta kimi ni Tereteru baai ja nai kara
Kotoba yori mo honki na LA LA... LOVE SONG

Wanna Make Love
Wanna Make Love Song, Hey Baby...

Shiranuma ni otoshiteta Chiisa na kakera o
Sukimanaku dakiyose Hade tashikameau
Uchuu no mienai yoru
You are my shinin' star
Kamawanai kimi ga mieru
And I wanna be your shinin' star

Maware maware merry-go-round
Mou keshite tomaranai you ni
Ugokidashita melody LA LA... LOVE SONG
Tomedonaku tanoshikute Yarusenai hodo setsunakute
Sonna asa ni umareru Boku nari no LOVE SONG

Tameiki no mae ni

Koko ni oide yo



ENGLISH

Turn and turn, merry-go-round
Wish it will never stop
The melody began to start
La la la la la Love Song

Waiting in the afternoon's pouring rain We ran out into it
In the rain falling in my mind you offered me an umbrella
I turn and say "No thanks!" When I actually meant the opposite
The miracle that we stumbled upon
Changed the color of tears

*Let's exchange a sweet kiss that will stop our breath
I don't want to hear a single word about this great moment
It's not the time to feel awkward, for you gave me courage
It's more serious than words, la la la... love song

Wanna Make Love
Wanna Make Love Song, Hey Baby...

Before I knew it I was falling to pieces
Let me embrace you tightly and I'll make sure you're happy
The invisible night of space
It doesn't matter, I can see you

Turn and turn merry-go-round
Wish it will never stop
Incessantly happy, painfully not admitting it
In that morning it will be born Our love song

Before you heave a sigh

Come over here

Phileo is brotherly love, for which the American city of Philadelphia is named.

Also note the finance giant that is Phileo Allied International. Their name is somewhere along the lines of an alliance, or a family of brothers who care for one another.

That is great marketing.

on WALLFLOWERS & LADIES & POLITICS...

I *hate* *hate* *hate* wallflowers!
They had *almost* spoilt what was a great time... last Friday night.


LAVISH @ watermark









watermark Bar on the Promenade
http://www.watermarkbar.com.au/

Friendster Groups -LAVISH-
http://www.friendster.com/group/tabmain.php?statpos=mygroup&gid=12280

pure R&B and trip-hop R&B and remix R&B
Throw in some garage remixes
~LAVISH~ has it taken shaken... not stirred
I really yearn for some good house mixes...

It was a really lavish place... heh!
The interior decor and lighting was real smooth
I had a real good look at the bar, impressive design and layout
The crowd is definately better than your average
with the yuppies and ladies out in their numbers dressed to their nines
I liked the whole concept and was loving it

In a few words? Stylish and understated...

I went with a few Malaysian friends from KL
friends of friends of friends
It really is a small world after all.
Thanks goes to Heng for the invites...
Kelly looked really stunning, I had not seen her for awhile
This group of friends can drink...
I mean they are really just out to drink you under the table
I had brought Aaron and Darren out with me this time
You learn something new everyday... Darren can hold his liquer, the small soft spoken guy drinks bordering on the alchoholic
I had him hold up in my place (cantonese is 'tong ngor teng') against Heng 'cause I had to drive later

I had a new shot that I had never seen or heard of before
Barcardi 151
This stuff is apparently not available on Jln Sultan Ismail (read as KL)
STRONG STUFF... had it as a tequila shot with the lemon and the salt
The stuff burns on the way down
I was a lil'... well, DEFINATELY out of it after that



on wallflowers... SIGH

What are wallflowers?
Small stuff that stand around and hang around by the walls
Hence, the term wallflowers
These style of people who just happen to grow on walls...
and just stands there...
and does... ABSOLUTELY nothing

I mean, we went to a r&b club
Shall we dance? That's what people do in clubs... right?
Else we should had just went to a nice lounge...
somewhere along Brunswick St or Little Collins St
I know a great place called A11 near Kings St and Flinders Lane
But they just stood around, smoked a few cigarettes and drank somemore

I know I am and probably damn fkn lame for trying to go and club
I'm 23 this year and I feel like I'm 30
But, standing around in a crowded room...
listening to R&B music...
next to my date...
who, coincidentally, so happens to be the wall
That is, by my definition, damn FKN LAME



on ladies and their taste in drinks...

I happen to like my vodka
And I also happen to like my vodka, straight, on the rocks, in a short glass
No mixers, No chasers, No other additives
~PURE~
So, when Heng asked me to recommend a drink I went ahead and blurted what I liked
vodka, straight, on the rocks, in a short glass

Note that my usual drink of vodka, lemon & lime is for if and when I need to share
Come on, a pretty lil thing comes up and asks for a sip...
Don't tell me you are going to say no?
It's practically kissing on the first date... removed... on the second degree
I know, I need to get a girlfriend... and quick.

Back to my little story...
After my recommendation, that I had not thought twice about
I forgot we had some women in the group...
and ladies would usually prefer a chicks drink (duh!), like a sweet and cheeky cocktail
And I had recommended some hard stuff that tastes absolutely foul when taken slow
Everyone took a deep drink...
and the WTF IS THIS STUFF !!! faces came up

I was sincerely very apologetic after...
*smirk*
I quickly recommended that they mixed their drinks or grab a chaser...
*slight laugh*
I am definately rusty on the dating game...
*shakes own head*

Well, I had better read up on ye olde seduction skills...
else I'm probably going to be singles market for a looooooong time...



on lil' petty politics and WIERDOs...

There is a guy whom I get along with pretty well with in this group of friends
He is not very well liked by the rest of the group though
The girls find him a little hamsup
and a little more hentai

eii desu ne...

I mean that the guy was a little full on with the ladies
Susanna had complained later in the car to that he was definately NOT a hit with the girls
If you were a lady, he would hold your hand and not let go...
he would stare intently at your eyes...
he would also be a little too smooth...
You *just* know when somebody's game is on when he is a little too smooth...
All this happens when he just met you...
and the both of you were just exchanging first names

Give the guy a break...
He is in his twenties and is definately out cruising for some action... heh!
It was a Saturday night...
and there were ladies...
and the ladies were dressed to their nines!
Reminds me of the arguement of ladies tempting guys by wearing revealing clothing, and then complain about the guys talking to her breasts
BUT, then again, he should not have been so blatantly obvious
Definately a case of bordering on sexual harrassment

And the best part was his association with and to me
He hangs around me (more like sticks to me) alot when I am out with the group
The whole night at LAVISH, he was either with me or making a fool of himself
I mean, you do not go up to people and ask, "Why are you not out on the dance floor dancing SEXILY for me?"
I was like WTF? Did he really say that? ~IDIOT~

And, the clincher was that I was the guy who had suggested to call him out with us
I was unfortunately found GUILTY by association to the wierdo

I am so unhappy...

on love...

The best kind of love says, "I love you, period. Even with your weaknesses, even if you change, even if someone better looking comes along. Even if you have zoo-breath in the morning. I want to give myself to you."

Paul, an early Christian writer, eloquently described this unconditional love: "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. ...Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever...."


When I was younger, I used to have a fun time during Bible Study at church. I would argue with my elders and challenge the faith that was Christianity. I was the class brat and I'd use science and philosophy to rebuke the accepted Chirstian theology. I think I gave poor uncle Lye Hock (my Bible Study class leader and church deacon) an ulcer.

My most memorable class was when we studied about the love of God. How much does God love you? How does God love you? These notes on the Greek definitions of love are from my memory.

Storge is familial love. It is a strong bond of affection between people in a family unit.

Eros is romantic love - sweaty palms and butterflies in the stomach. The word erotic takes its root meaning from this love. This is a possessive and physical love.

Phileo is brotherly love, for which the American city of Philadelphia is named. This is the love we feel, or should feel, for our fellow man. It is empathy -- the ability to put ourselves ‘in another man's shoes.' It is appreciation, the acknowledgment of the value of the person or thing we have affection for.

Agape is pure love, selfless love. Love with no thought of personal gain, a conscious decision to give of yourself to another purely because you want them to be happy. We tend to think of love as a give and take. But agape is love without any thought of reward or benefit.

Agape is God's love..

Thank you for reading. May you be blessed in all that you do.

badminton

Badminton is a great game.

I used to go for training with an ex-Selangor state player in SRKC Yuk Chai when I was much younger. I can't say that I am really on form these days. I still have the general strategy and the badminton form that I have trained though. But, I've slacked off the exercise routine thing for almost 3 years now. I'm getting back in shape again and this is really great. I do NOT end up panting just by climbing 7 floors to my class in university anymore.

I need to get my racket restrung, or maybe get myself a totally new racket. But, before that, I need to find out my style of play. Stroke players should get a heavier racket with a more rigid body. The string tension is very important because of the drop shots and you need to reach to return shots. Then, Aaron showed me the new Yonex rackets that are made out of a titanium alloy. The body is much more flexible. This coupled with a good swing will give you a really powerful smash. Even the Yonex website says their new rackets adds power to your shots. It is good for doubles play when you need to be on the offensive.

Recently, my game is very offensive. I find I am always setting up for a smash or an angled shot. This is 'cause I do not have the stamina yet to play a full game (3 sets of 15 points) and I need to finish the game as fast as possible. I play a lot of doubles matches with Darren as my partner. He is a much more competent player than I am. Unfortunately, we are still getting used to pairing up with each other. My shots are not that accurate either, I have missed many smashes and I find that I have too much power when I return with a lob.

I will probably get better with practice.

I play with some friends and the other RMIT badminton club members at MSAC (Albert Park Sports Centre) every Sunday. If you are in and about Melbourne and fancy a stroke, do come by. Come around 4pm and the sessions goes on until about 7pm. Hope to see some people there.

Comment on my game guys?

my subconscious preoccupation

Tickle.com

I got an email from the people at Tickle.com. I was reading throught it and I came across a test that seemed interesting. It was something about subconscious preoccupation or something like that. Below is the result of the test.

PREOCCUPIED WITH LOVE

Christopher, your subconscious mind is most preoccupied with issues around your love life.

On a conscious level, you might already be aware that something is troubling you, or eating up a lot of time when it comes to your love life. But it's also possible that thoughts and feelings about your romantic life have been preoccupying your subconscious mind — leaving you with nothing more than a general sense that things just don't feel 100% right in your life though you can't quite figure out why.

You may feel your love life is unfulfilling and needs a jumpstart. You might be going through a lot of changes in your love life that you find emotionally draining. You might simply spend a lot of time thinking about romantic relationships. Or maybe you're so frustrated with your situation that you avoid the topic all together.

Whichever feelings hold true, your test results indicate that right now, your subconscious mind is working overtime to resolve the issues confronting you in this area of your life — even if you don't feel aware of it.

This is sort of true for me.

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

comics Danger Girl

DANGER GIRL issue 07
Abbey Chase, Sydney and Valerie

I used to read comics, a LOT of comics, as a child. It was the escapist fantasy that appealed to my imagination. There was that day when I turned twelve and I got a bike for my birthday. I was so happy. The bicycle represented freedom that I had acheived. I used to cycle to the comic store every other Friday afternoon just to check out what was released. I would then spend every minute after school until it was about time to rush back for dinner reading my beloved comics.

I remember my favourite comic from Marvel was the adventures of Peter Parker as your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman. Then there was the period of stuff from Image like the Witchblade, Darkness and Gen 13. I've since graduated to manga.

petroleum jelly? KY...

One day while doing door-to-door market research, this guy knocks on a door and is greeted by a beautiful young housewife.

“Hello,” he starts, “I’m doing some research for a petroleum jelly manufacturer. Have you ever used the product?”

“Yes. My husband and I use it during sex,” she answers.

The researcher is taken aback. “Um, er, I admire you for your honesty,” he continues. “Can you tell me exactly how you use it?”

“Sure, we put it on the doorknob so the kids can’t get in.”

kids say the darnest things

~deep thoughts~


Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with!
-Age 6

The only stupid question is the one that is never asked, except maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" or "Isn't it morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was speeding?"
-Age 15

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.
-Age 7

Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number.
-Age 15

It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there.
-Age 5

It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends.
-Age 8

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
-Age 15

This is especially for Kwang and YuMing.

When I was in Malaysia for my internship position, said friends went up Fraser's Hill or some other high and hilly place to get roses. They told me that on Valentine's Day, that year, they would make money. They had a good plan to go up and buy the roses cheap at their source. And, sell them for a profit downtown in KL. But then, shit happens...

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy

MARVIN "I'd make a suggestion, but you wouldn't listen. No one ever does."




The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy

HAHA... the funniest movie I've seen awhile. I am really glad I went to see this movie instead of Kingdom of Heaven. Went with Darren, and he argued for the comedy. The movie bordered (really close to falling off the edge) on the premise of stupidity. They poked fun at everything from Town Planning Councils to falling sperm whales. I really loved the singing dolphins.

singing DOLPHINS "Goodbye and thanks for all the fish."

The best character in the movie has to be Marvin, the depressed robot. He is really the funniest robot I have ever seen. The character is really a break from convention. I've read so many sci-fi books and movies but I had yet to see a chronically depressed robot. Besides, Marvin looks adorable and when he sighs, he just makes you go, "Awww... such a poor thing."

MARVIN "I've been talking to the main computer.... He hates me."



Perhaps, I need to laugh more in my current life. I've seem to forgotten what it felt like to watch something really funny and just laugh. I'm just sitting here smiling to myself as I type this out. And, NO, I'm not on medication... HAHA!

chronically depressed

MARVIN
"Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to pick up a piece of paper... Call that job satisfaction? I don't..."

chronically depressed

MARVIN
"Incredible... it's even worse than I thought it would be..."

what you CAN do

my father had this to say to me...

"Sometimes, in life, you cannot do the things you WANT to do. I want to travel and see the world but I cannot... not yet. You know yourself what you want to do. I can see what you want to do. But, you cannot do what you want because it is beyond your control.

Time will heal...

In life, it is all about what you CAN do. You have tried your best but people don't want you. It is not to say you have not tried. Give it up boy. Time will heal."

I will live my life without regrets.

really ~wierd~ insurance claims

1. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

2. The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

3. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

4. I attempted to kill a fly, and I drove into a telephone pole.

5. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

6. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

7. An invisible car come out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

8. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

9. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

10. I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

11. An indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

12. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME !!!

I just noticed that it is the 10th of May, 2005. It is my first ONE month anniversary of being single. I find that to be absolutely ironic...

And, I all I can do is grin... sardonically...

immovable objects

I had another splendid drive home tonight after a quick destress session with Darren and a cuppacino. He is becoming my constant yumcha companion here in Melbourne. There is something about the both of us (childhood, interests, age, etc) that allows us to be very ngam keng. The weather is now freezing at nights and even during the days. I experienced my first can't be bothered to leave my warm bed and blankets on this 5 degree Monday morning.

WINTER is officially here for the year of 2005.



Anyways, what does one do about immovable objects in life?

I am using immovable objects as a metaphor to mean people who are stubborn by nature. I am not a very patient person. I blame my young age for giving me this desire to constantly want things to happen... I want things to go my way, NOW! I refer to this as having hot blood. Perhaps, I should be more tolerant of other people. I will probably acheive the age where I mellow out later on in my life.

I was driving home and I came across a long stretch that I usually take was under repairs. The good Council of Melbourne had their team of worker ants out tearing up the tram tracks and replacing them. I really was not in the mood to slow down and drive at 20kmph for what would be a really long, long while.

I gave my little problem some though...

Can't go pass it?
Go around it.
Can't go around it?
Go over it.
Can't go over it?
Go under it.
Can't go under it?
IGNORE it...

I kept my beloved Penny Tai on repeat, grinned and drove on...
Albeit, real slowly.

And, that is the exact same response I had heard my father tell me many times before. When dealing with stubborn people, if you cannot sway them with reasonable arguements, what are you going to do?

What can you do? Absolutely nothing.

Worry is wasteful. I won't waste my time, my mental faculties and my effort to stress over something I CANNOT CHANGE.

idiots...

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture of handcuffs.

a walk to remember

A really good love story that I just had the priveledge of watching again tonight. I really can't rmember why I never really sat through the entirety of the show the first time.

A Walk to Remember

With refreshing intelligence, A Walk to Remember offers welcome relief from the recent onslaught of teen-movie crudeness. Adapted from the novel by Nicholas Sparks and transplanted from 1958 to the present day, this admirable teen romance recognizes that two 18-year-olds--Landon (Shane West) and Jamie (pop singer Mandy Moore)--can be smart, mature, and sensible about the very real love they share. He's a popular kid in the cool crowd. She's got a goody-goody reputation as the dowdy daughter of a local minister (Peter Coyote); her values and priorities aren't rooted in peer pressure, and Landon feels blessed by her self-assured nobility. Their mutual affection inevitably heads into Love Story territory, but the movie is honest enough to survive its own schmaltz, and its attractive cast (including Daryl Hannah as Landon's mom) embraces a tone of sincerity and mutual respect. Finally... a teen movie with teens you can admire.

review from Amazon.com

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

from http://www.blogthings.com/

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUGI

Another moment to remember is that of the birthday of my godbrother, Sugianto. I hope he sees this on Monday when he gets in at work. I missed the opportunity to call him last night due to a lack of phonecards. Ke Nan Hong... I have not forgotten the friendship. Live a long life and keep busy. I'll be seeing you when I am able.

Happy B'DAY man.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

This post is for my beloved mother. It's not often that the eldest child is able to feel genuine love his mother. This is true for any child because of the human nature to learn incrementally. The eldest was and is ever the first in everything, from the first diapers until the first graduation ceremony. The fact is further aggravated if there are younger siblings. As I understand the concept of dependency, the younger will often need more care. As a result, the elder sibling often feels rejected.

I wish to be mature about the whole experience of growing up. I accept what you have done for me and I am grateful. Thank you for everything.

I Love you.

it is ever the nature of the child to surpass their parents...

A final thought for the dawn of this new day.

Why do people fall in love with another when they have not ever met?


Thanks for listening. I bid you all...Good Night.

Penny TAI

Penny TAI

A fresh face and a beautiful voice, she gave me a new sound to listen to...

peace of mind...

It's really late here in Melbourne.

Another thing crossed my mind today. I was driving back after a a mild yumcha session on Chapel St with some new friends. Just a word of thanks to them for taking me out for dinner and entertaining me tonight. Ari and Angie were a laugh a minute. After, I sent Darren home 'cause he was really tired... It was just a little over 10 and I decided that I had not felt like sleeping yet.

I decided to go for a drive. I happen to be one of those strange people who cruise around in their car with their music on just to relax. A period of just phasing the mind out, listening to some tunes and just to de~stress. It's an expensive past time, with petrol prices being what they are today, but its a small price for peace of mind.

I was thinking about my earlier post about the Utada lyrics.

I was thinking about how I came about looking for the translation/lyrics for the song. I was humming the tune and decided that the song was of a style that suited me. A good arrangement for a ballad with great guitars, a little rock edge and Utada's vocals. I was suitably impressed and decided to get said translations to figure out what the song meant.

That was a BIG mistake...

uso mitai na I love you - like a lie I love you

It then occured to me that the song was not all that great... for the purposes that I am listening to music these days. It brought up feelings that I am trying to forget. The irony of it was not lost on me. I enjoyed the song because the tune appealed to me. But, after knowing what the song meant, I'd rather not have known. Sometimes, ignorance is a preferred bliss.

As each day passes me by, I forget a little about the hurt that I carry with me.

Endless ni utagau yori saigo made
ano uso mitai na I love you
kiite itai yo zutto zutto

tai pei ni

Penny Tai or Tai Pei Ni, she is one of my country's better exports. This Malaysian singer and songwriter is extremely gifted. She sings mainly to the soulful jazz and soft rock tunes. I was pretty shocked when I was rummaging through HMV in downtown KL last year. I came across her 3rd album, So Penny and decided to give it a listen... There was a surprise there as I was attracted to her features, she is really pretty and her songs are incredible.

Needless to say, I bought that album soon after.

Recently, I just rediscovered her music and her voice is just as I remembered it. As soulful as her lyrics are emotional. She has a new album out and, as I understand it, the title is something about being crazy in love (my mandarin is rusty) or ai feng le. I have said new album in my car right now.

She is beautiful... just beautiful...



Penny TAI - wo yao de ai

The love I want

An old song from the Meteor Garden drama.


PIN YING

Sui ran jing chang meng jian ni
Hai shi hao wu tou xu
Wai mian zheng zai xia zhe yu
Jing tian shi xing qi ji
But I don't know
Ni qu na li

*Sui ran bu ceng huai yi ni
Hai shi tan te bu ding
Shui shi ni de na ge wei yi
Yuan liang wo huai yi zi ji

~Wo ming bai Wo yao de ai
Hui ba wo chong huai
Xiang yi ge xiao hai
Zhi dong zai ni huai li huai
Ni yao de ai
Bu zhi she yi lai
Yao xiang ge da nan hai
Feng chui you ri sai
Sheng huo zi you zi zai


ENGLISH

Although I often dream of you
I still have no idea
It's raining outside
Which day is it today
But I don't know
Where you went

*Although I have never doubted you
I still feel uneasy
Who is your one and only
Forgive me for doubting myself

~I understand The love I want
Will spoil me
Like a little child
Who only knows how to be bad in your arms
The love you want
Is not just reliance
Must be like a man
Even in bad weather
Leads a carefree life

idiot in suspense~

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

I'll tell you later.

heh...

~uso mitai na~ I love you

Endless ni utagau yori saigo made
ano uso mitai na I love you
kiite itai yo zutto zutto

Lie to me...

Speak for me the words I want to hear, "I love you..."
Lie to me if you have to.

I used to tell myself... lie to myself about you and I. Such was the importance of this one person whom I loved. I gave so much of myself and time told me the very one thing I never wanted to hear. When fate decrees that your paths diverge... Such is the pain of a break up. fen shou.

Regret.

I will not live my life with regrets...

Utada Hikaru - uso mitaina I love you

like a lie I love you


ROMANJI

Reisei na manazashi de kono chijou no in to yo wo
Sayuu ni kakiwaketeku

Watashi wa ano koro kara kimi wo mane shitakute
Sukoshi togarashita kuchibiru de saki e tsukisusumu

Miwatasu kagiri hirogaru
Uso no sakanai sougen wo
Yume no naka de mita koto ga aru
Soko de kimi wo matteru

Kandouteki ni owaru story hajimari wa
Ano hi kimi ga itta I love you
Machikirenai yo kouhan start

Endless ni utagau yori saigo made
Ano uso mitai na I love you
Kiite itai yo zutto zutto

Kotoba ni zenbu wa takusenakutemo
Koe ni daseba sukoshi wa kanarazu tsutawaru hazu

Ma mo naku tokiakasareru shinjitsu
Issho ni tashikameyou
Me ga sametemo kanashikunai sekai ga
Futari wo matteru

Senrosoi hashiridasu kage ni furikaeru
Ano hi ienakatta I love you
Oitsukenai yo last part

Hon no sukoshi utagau toki dou suru no
Mou usotsuki demo I love you
Soba ni itai yo zutto zutto

Kandouteki ni owaru story hajimari wa
Ano hi kimi ga itta I love you
Machikirenai yo kouhan start

Senrosoi hashiridasu kage ni furikaeru
Ano hi kimi ga itta I love you
Oikakechau yo zutto zutto

I love you.... I love you....


ENGLISH


With dry eyes, I push my way through
the shade and light on the ground

Wanting to follow suit to you,
I thrust out my lips and smash my way just like you did

In the vast expanse of grass field as far as the eye could reach,
Where there is no lie,
Where I've ever seen in my dream
I'm waiting for you

This story ends movingly
It begins with your words, "I love you"
I can't wait to let it start again...

I'd rather want to hear " I love you" you said to me like a lie
than doubting you endlessly
Oh I want to hear it all the time.... all the time

Even if you can't leave everything up to words,
When you put your thought into words, I will know you better.

Unlock the truth that we hold,
Let's make sure that together
It's about the time to open your eyes
The world waiting for us is not sad anymore

Looking back at the shadow
that has just started running along the lay track,
With "I love you" that I couldn't say in those days
I will catch you into the last half .... last part

What would you do when I get a little suspicious
Even if "I love you" you said is a lie,
Oh I wanna stay with you all the time.... all the time

This story ends movingly
It begins with your words, "I love you"
I can't wait to let it start again...

Looking back at the shadow
that has just started running along the lay track,
With "I love you" that you said to me in those days
Oh I wanna run after you all the time... all the time

I love you.... I love you....