Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Why do people fall in love with...


another when they have not ever met?



Hmm...

A friend of mine mentioned that she has a malay friend who doesn't go out and has a curfew. She isn't even allowed to date so i guess this is why she is already talking about marriage with someone whom she knows on the internet...

This is to Crys and Darren. We had this chat sometime previously in June.



Can someone be that desperate for love and attention? Is this the cure for the loneliness in one's heart ? I mean if both of them were to meet and begin the dating game ....

That's fine ....

But marriage?!? .... it's really jumping the gun here .....



When you have good relationships, you don't need to find security in something else, whether it's alcohol, sex or food. When you have good relationships, you're less likely to try to fill the void with something else. When you have good relationships, some of the deepest needs are being met.

Dr. Cloud (an excerpt from MSN Match) does say, "Bonding is one of the most basic and foundational ideas in life and the universe. It is a basic human need. God created us with a hunger for relationship--for relationship with him and with our fellow people. At our very core we are relational beings. Without a solid, bonded relationship, the human soul will become mired in psychological and emotional problems. The soul cannot prosper without being connected to others."



I think we're all hungry for relationships that are lasting, full of trust and fun. Many of us grew up in homes where our dads worked too late at the office to get another promotion so they could buy the Rolex or Beemer (read as BMWs). Moms had college degrees and families wanted the additional income, so moms worked. Our parents may have lived under the same roof but that was about it.

So, what do we do? Who can make me feel good? Who can I run to? Who can help me escape from a world of unconnectedness - if only for a little while?



The truth is that no one wants to be alone. Although we make a big deal out of "doing our own thing" and insisting on individual rights, we all long for the security and warmth of an intimate relationship with someone who is crazy about us. We may say we "want to be alone" and desire "some space", but our stronger desire is to share some space with someone who loves us.





loneliness...

desperate for love...

desperate to be loved...

The thought is strange to me, because there is no face~to~face contact. It just does not make sense in the traditional context. I'm one of those who does not believe it is possible to just exchange photos online and *whoops*, fall in love.

Maybe I'm just being cynical.





Unfortunately, I have made the 'classic mistake'. I call it a 'classic' mistake because it's one that is made by a majority of us, at least once in our lifetime (although, it seems many people make it over and over again).

I decided the answer to my problem was a girl - or, to be less gender oriented - a relationship with another person. I thought getting a girlfriend would give me new purpose in life. I thought that having a fiancee would give me meaning to all that I do. I thought that getting married would fill the void I was feeling.

I think everyone has at least heard of someone who got married to escape his or her current situation or environment. While you may be in love, if the motivation behind getting married is to escape, then the decision is a mistake.

Fortunately, this was revealed to me. Through the help of my parents, I realized that what I needed was a relationship, but not with just anyone. Dad who is ever simple and practical. His wisdom is my Occum's Razor. Mum who is less intellectual but patiently willing to be reasonable. I'm really grateful for parents who have level heads over their shoulders.

It was true that I needed a change and that I needed fulfillment, but it was going to take something (or someone) greater than some girl to do it.



I want to live my life without regrets. I'm going to try something new and stupid over the next 6 months. I am going to get myself a YZF-R6.








You sit on ICQ for 6 hours waiting for that certain special person to sign on.

I'm guilty of having done that...

No comments: