孝

In Confucian thought, filial piety (Chinese: 孝; Hanyu Pinyin: xiào) is one of the virtues to be cultivated: a love and respect for one's parents and ancestors.

In somewhat general terms, xiào means
- to take care of one's parents,
- not be rebellious,
- show love, respect and support,
- display courtesy,
- ensure male heirs,
- uphold fraternity among brothers,
- wisely advise one's parents,
- conceal their mistakes (though some advocate privately correcting their mistakes),
- display sorrow for their sickness and death,
- and to carry out sacrifices after their death.

The virtue of xiào is considered the first virtue in Chinese culture, and it is the main concern of a large number of cultural folklore and stories. While China has always had a diversity of religious beliefs, xiào has been common to almost all of them. These traditions were sometimes enforced by law; during parts of the Han Dynasty, for example, and those who neglected ancestor worship could even be subject to corporal punishment.

The concept of xiào was not merely blind loyalty to one's parents. More important than the norms of xiào were the norms of benevolence (Chinese: 仁; Hanyu Pinyin: rén) and righteousness (Chinese: 義; Hanyu Pinyin: yì). In fact, in Confucianism, xiào was a display of rén which was ideally applied in one's dealings with all elders, thus making it a general norm of inter-generational relations. For practicality, xiào was usually reserved for one's own parents and grandparents, and was often elevated above the notions of rén and yì.

An interesting story

I have got an interesting story to tell you.

I remember that I first this heard this story from an economics lecturer from a while back. She said that the story came from the movie A Beautiful Mind starring Russell Crowe. I can't verify nor gain say this for I have yet to watch this movie.

Anyway, let me tell you the story about game theory, a gentleman's agreement and honour among thieves (or the lack thereof).



And the story goes likes this...

We have a group of three guys on a Friday night after a long week at work, sitting in a bar. Let's call them Tom, Dick and Harry. After a few rounds of drinks, they spot a group of four women stumble into the bar out of the cold. Only one of the girls was a knockout bombshell, the others were all plain-janes. They do a quick scan of the room and decided that they are the best looking group of guys in the bar. The only question is, how do they proceed?

It's pretty logical that the guys will agree together on which girl each of them will pursue to avoid any conflicts of interest. They may even have a few strategies up their sleeves already. But, that's about where conventional dating logic stops. A higher, more informed dating strategy is necessary to ensure a successful follow-through, ie. the hook-up.

The problem is a little more complex when you finally sit down and think through it. If the guys compete against each other for the knockout, then only one of them can win. The other two guys must settle for one of the plain-janes, but the girls will feel slighted and won't give the guys what they want.

If the guys agree not to compete for the bombshell and let one of them take her, the other two guys will still feel they got the short-end of the stick. Which, the plain-janes will pick up on, and again, nobody gets what they want.

Right now, by each pursuing an open and available plain-jane, they all get to go home with a girl and all of them would have a good time. When you look at it that way, there is no incentive for each of them to change their strategy. But, each guy definitely wants to have shot with the hot knockout.

Thus, we have Dick by being a little sneaky and hell of a lot smarter than his friends. They all agree to have all of them go after the plain-janes and ignore the knockout. He goes in with his buddies and their gentleman's agreement but, with a pre-meditated approach.

And, during the course of the night, while Tom and Harry entertains the plain-janes, Dick starts hitting on the hot knockout bombshell.

EVERGREEN (english ensemble)

by HYDE of L'Arc~en~Ciel



I lie awake beside the windowsill
Like a flower in a vase
A moment caught in glass

The rays of sunlight come and beckon me
To a sleepy dreamy haze
A sense of summer days

If only I could stop the flow of time
Turn the clock to yesterday
Erasing all the pain

I've only memories of happiness
Such pleasure we have shared
I'd do it all again

This scenery is evergreen
As buds turn into leaves
the colours live and breathe
This scenery is evergreen
Your tears are falling silently

So full of joy you are a child of spring
With a beauty that is pure
An innocence endures

You flow right through me like a medicine
Bringing quiet to my soul
Without you I'm not whole

This scenery is evergreen
I need you far too much
I long to feel your touch
This scenery is evergreen
You've always been so dear to me

This scenery is evergreen
It sorrows at the sight of seeing you so sad
This scenery is evergreen
I wish that I could dry your tears

The bells have rung the time has come
I cannot find the words to say my last goodbye
This scenery is evergreen
You've always been so dear too me

~

Think in the morning.
Act in the noon.
Eat in the evening.
Sleep in the night.

by William Blake

~

You are the professional, no matter what...

That means you’re serious about your job, company, organization, department, field and industry, and you act that way. You’re a business professional, and it’s all business, even when there’s a conflict.

By removing your emotions, you’ll more clearly see the situation when you’re experiencing a conflict with a coworker. Then you can decide what, if anything, you want to do about it.


Honestly Examine Your Own Role in the Conflict:
Sometimes it’s easier to think that you’re right and the other person is wrong. But it’s quite possible that you simply don’t know the whole story. You can start by asking, "Could you be at the heart of the conflict?" and, "Are you sure?"


Determine Your Coworker’s Preferred Communication Style:
If you bring up the conflict with your coworker using his preferred communication style instead of your own, you’ll be much more likely to succeed in your efforts. If your coworker is direct, be direct. If he is indirect, be indirect; but most of all, be clear. People hear best in their own communication style.

The use of “I” statements instead of “You” statements (e.g. “You keep interrupting me in meetings.”) will only make your coworker feel as if he is under attack. So stick with “I” statements. An example, “In our meetings together, I often feel I am interrupted. Am I misinterpreting things?”


Take It Outside:
No, not outside in the context of a parking lot brawl! It does often help, though, to invite your coworker out for lunch or coffee “out of the workplace and into neutral ground where you won’t be overheard by others.”



Most importantly, think “win-win” instead of just plain “win.” Your goal shouldn’t be victory as much as mutual satisfaction. You should not approach the situation as someone who is going in to win a fight or an argument, rather,go into it as someone who wants to preserve the relationship.

Carpe diem

Carpe diem is a phrase from a Latin poem by Horace (Odes 1.11)

It is literally translated to as "Seize the day".

The phrase is often extended to explicitly mention the possibility of imminent death, as in "Seize the day, for tomorrow you may die."

Tu ne quaesieris, scire nefas, quem mihi, quem tibi	Leuconoe, don't ask — it's forbidden to know —
finem di dederint, Leuconoe, nec Babylonios	what end the gods will give me or you. Don't play with Babylonian
temptaris numeros. ut melius, quidquid erit, pati.	fortune-telling either. Better just deal with whatever comes your way.
seu pluris hiemes seu tribuit Iuppiter ultimam,	Whether you'll see several more winters or whether the last one
quae nunc oppositis debilitat pumicibus mare	Jupiter gives you is the one even now pelting the rocks on the shore with the waves
Tyrrhenum: sapias, vina liques et spatio brevi	of the Tyrrhenian sea--be smart, drink your wine. Scale back your long hopes
spem longam reseces. dum loquimur, fugerit invida	to a short period. Even as we speak, envious time
aetas: carpe diem quam minimum credula postero.	is running away from us. Gather the day, for in the future you can believe the minimum.