the Dumb Brother...

A pregnant woman is in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother, he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," says the doctor.

The new mother thinks, Wow, that's not a bad name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise! Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"

The doctor replies, "Denephew."

tongue piercings...

A friend got her tongue pierced today.
I accompanied her as one of the cheerleaders.
She went in a room at the back of the tattoo parlour cum body piercing shop.
All I did was that I stood outside and waited...

They had giant poster sized pictures of the whole piercing process.
It starts with a fairly mundane wash and rinse of the mouth.
They provide tons of listerine so you get the fresh mouth feeling...
And, I guess, that the pierce~er guy doesn't die from your bad breath.
Then, with a real wicked looking 6 incher of a needle, they poke a small hole in the centre of your tongue.
They then affix a clamp over the needle and slide the cruel device out.
They replace that with a rather long tongue stud.
Apparently you only to get to wear the fairly innocous looking studs after about~ 2 months.
After that, it is a fairly painless affair of affixing a tongue stud.

When she got out, she did say the whole affair didn't hurt... that much.
But she said there was a lot of blood.
She was inside rinsing her mouth out cause her tongue was bleeding.
We then went to get her slurpees from a 7-Eleven.

Her plan was to go straight home, grab a glass of milk and sleep.
I was quite perplexed... and so I asked, "Why?"
She said she was going straight to sleep... 'cause then she won't really feel the pain.
All the better to let the tongue heal then.



I am still wincing from thinking that she REALLY went through with it.



*update*

Said friend has had her tongue swell up on her and that she can't really talk on the phone.
This is supposed to happen and IS the reason for the extra long tongue stud.
It is sort of like the trainer pair of earrings that you first get.
Just to get the body used to the idea of having a hole where there shouldn't be one...

She also wants some sea salt to gargle with.
I understand that salt is good for wounds and a natural antiseptic.
But, the last time I checked the equation...

salt + an open wound = BIG BIG hurt !!!

Ouchies !!!

Torturing Santa

1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.

2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.

3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.

4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.

5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!

6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say, "We hate Christmas" and "Go away Santa."

7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.

8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.

9. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.

10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy." Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass, with a note that says, "For Santa."

11. Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."

12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.

13. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.

14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.

15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.

16. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, "But from a distance, he looked like a bear."

17. Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.

18. Paint "hoof prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.

19. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.

20. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."

* J o y e u x * N o ë l *

Just a short post to wish everyone a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR.

We are going to be leaving the eyar that was 2005.
I'd like to take some time to thank my friends and family for the memories.

It is also going to be a new year and a good time for new beginnings.
May your dreams and wishes come true.

Take care and God bless.

Christopher, your life is in drive when you're Creating Something

Last Request

They have the Lone Ranger lined up and they are ready to shoot him. They ask him if he has any last requests. He replies, "Yes, I'll have a last cigarette." They give it to him and he proceeds to send smoke signals to Tonto, who's down the trail.

Within minutes, Tonto comes flying down the trail with a wagon filled with women.

The Lone Ranger shakes his head and says, "I told you to bring the posse!"

flick

I also went out with Felicity or flick~flick~flickity~flick as she prefers it.
kiss the boys and run away... huh? Private joke.

I bumped into Yang on the tram.
The guy had extended his stay in Melb but didn't inform me.
So, we had a sort of final farewall *again* dinner with him.

Darren, if you're reading this, I'd like his msn contacts... Thanks.

Then flick and I caught the third Harry Potter in the new cinemas at Hoytts.
Oh... the cinema was good and stuff.
But, the movie was GREAT.






I'd go to say as much that the previous Harry Potter movies sucked.
But this movie in the series really showed maturity in the storyline.
I thought that the plot was well crafted... the ~twist~ at the end really caught me out.
Note that I barely remember the story in the book (had read it ages ago).
This is another must watch movie.

Okay... I apologize to the people whom I have said that 'Harry Potter is fantasy lite' or that 'Harry Potter is for kids'.
I did read the series in bits and pieces.
I enjoyed them in the context that they were written in.

A closet Harry Potter fan I am not... nor will I admit to be.
HAHA!

so there...

wow... big update!

I've just had a ~WHIRLWIND~ of a week.
I enjoyed some great moments and a really painful experience.
And, I have yet to update on my trip to Cairns.



Let me start by saying phew~

Darren came down for his graduation.
It was great just to catch up with the guy.
Went to MAI TAI on Tuesday with Darren and Yang.
Both guys brought their buddies, comrades, old friends, etc. along.
Even Rain and Nicklaus showed up for a little bit.
I grabbed Crys and we all just piled in and had drinks.
Yang is really a great guy... pity that I hadn't met him earlier.

On Wednesday, I attended Darren's graduation ceremony and celebrated with him, Crys and their friends.

Took lots of photos... need to pass them to Darren and to upload them.
Then I rushed off just after for a surprise b'day thing for Wai Peng.
Kelly ruined it by letting the secret out early... sigh~
Cakes from Laurent are still great though.
But I got sounded out 'cause they are rich and fattening... girls will be girls!
Then, rushing again, I was at TWILIGHT @ HUSHBAR with Darren and Yang for their graduation celebratory after party.
Just a small affair with a few guys, some r&b, drinks and smokes.

Thursday? I think hung out with Darren.
Had lunch in the city with him.
Then we went around the city with Kelly and her friend... trying to get flowers for Wai Peng's graduation.
Thanks for the round~trip~city~wide tour... heh!

I couldn't attend the post celebratory photo shoot cause of work commitments.
But, my camera did... (on loan to Kelly)
They took lots of photos... well, at least, Wai Peng did.
I rushed to link up with Darren and Rain after work.
This triumvirate of bored people caught King Kong at Crown.
The movie is a must see people...

Friday was REALLY great.
Started with a shortened shift at Subway so I could out and party after.
Big thank you to Lydia (my manager) for arranging this at such short notice.
Linked up with Darren, Rain, Felicity and Sylvester at the ATRIUM BAR in the Sofitel hotel.
Had coffee and small talk 'cause Darren was leaving for KL the next day.
Then Darren, Sylvester and I rushed over to LAVISH @ WATERMARK for Wai Peng's b'day party.
We were a lil' late... and I was one of the organizing people.
James fk'd up a lil cause we had to wait.
And this is even when we had a table booking and that we still dropped about AU$500 at the place.
Either LAVISH is fk'd or James just doesn't sit high enough in the heirachy of things.

On the way back on Saturday morning... my MIRAGE died.
My poor car and loyal mode of transport for 5 years left this world to the big car yard in the sky.
What a way to end such a great night...
I crossed an intersection in the city and I got hit from behind.
My car got sandwiched between a taxi and a Honda Prelude.
James did redeem himself by coming back for me.
And, I had him pegged as a 'good times' guy...

My insurance people just called me today (well, on Tuesday actually).
They said my poor MIRAGE is a write off.
She just couldn't be saved.
They couldn't resuscitate the poor thing with the defibrillators.
Died on the operating table.
Let us observe a moment of silence for the dearly departed...
I'll miss you baby... see you in the next life.





sidenote...

I promise that I have the updates in drafts.
I just got to upload the photos and post them up.
I promise, that do or die, I'll have them up by the end of the week.
Just got to get off my ass and stop procrastinating.

Erm... adieu.

lifestyles of the RICE and clueless~

HAHA !!!
Good title yea?
*self appropriated props*

I do think there is such a thing as being overly tired.
The lack of sleep this weekend... *yawn*
And I did shifts at Subway too.
Thankfully, this weekend was rather quiet at the shop... dull and boring.
Complain... *whine* *whine*...
Yea... I'm definately feeling this.
I am so tired !!!

Had a great night out at Lavish on Friday.
Thanks to James for getting us in the door after an hour out in the cold.
Thanks to Kelly, Ricky, Andy, Winni, etc for the entertainment.
Now that I think about it... Andy and Kelly would make a cute couple.
And, the Marlboro Lights were nice... thanks Ricky.
I'll replace your pack of smokes for another later...

Got back home at around 8:00 am.
Then had to, rather abruptly, rush to the airport to grab Darren at 9:00.
The guy is back in Melb for his graduation.
On Wednesday night... this boy will be a career man.

Just got back tonight from an extended dinner/yumcha session with him.
Was at Notturno on Lygon St.
The food is great but the atmosphere to night was a lil' dull.
Shot some pool after.
I know I need the practice.
I noticed that Russell St has changed so much since the first year I came.
The city was empty... yea, but note the hour.
The big arcade has closed down and that rave club had moved out.
And yea... then played games at the solitary remaining arcade.
It has been ages since I'd done that.

We caught up with each other.
Great friends are forever... right?

then... have you found someone that you think would suit you?

this... I was asked recently by a close friend.
How is one supposed to reply to such an incisive question?
I could only think of the truth...





No...

Unfortunately... I have not.

Until today, I'll go as far as admitting that Leanne was the most suitable person for me.
She had cut deeper than Michelle ever did.
She had first found me.
I then noticed her.
After?
We enjoy a moment of bliss.
Then...
We both grew up, and we both grew apart.

~_~

The next one? Surely I must have someone after...

Somedays I wish that life was like a restaurant.
There would be people, who interested you, written down in a menu.
You could then call the waiter and order the next dish.

So...
A fair few people have asked me, "What about Leanne?"

It was over.
It is over.
It has been over for a while now...
It is not the selfish ego, nor the foolish pride.
The decision was and is still sound.
We had grown apart.

Fate decreed and thus the destinies diverge...

Let me put down my pen.
And, close the book...
The story is over.
I'll sign the final 'The End'.

I now wait for new inspiration.
Would a muse come my way?
One day... I'll open a new book,
and hopefully, start again.

of a RANGER and a Shadow Dragon

I'm a gamer...

define: a single BACHELOR who plays computer games... a lot.

Its a role that I fit into, not an encompassing lifestyle or a character trait.
Thankfully.
I have a social life... I think I do?!?
Thanks for asking...

Anyway... I'm a huge fan of RPGS.

I love Final Fantasy VII.
I love Final Fantasy VIII.
I love Final Fantasy IX.
I love Final Fantasy X.
I love Final Fantasy X-2.

You can probably guess I love Squaresoft and their the Final Fantasy Series...

I love Wild Arms 3.
I love Shin Megami Tensei: Nocture.
I love Final Fantasy Tactics.
I love Disgaea: Hour of Darkness.
I love The Elder Scrolls: Morrowind.

and I'll probably love The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion
when it is finally released... heh!

Currently Playing Fable: the Lost Chapters.
It finally got released for the PC. Yea!

I just love the fantasy and the roleplay.
But what really gets me is the power leveling to get your characters godly.
I always try for the level cap and the final ultimate set of equipment.
Nerdy yea?
And, btw, nerd was a term coined by Dr Seuss in the book To the Zoo.



MMORPG
Massive Multiplayer Online RPG
*gasp* even the acronym is massive... heh!
I've played a fair few.

Ragnarok Online (or RO) was just so cute.
I spent many nights up with YuMing and Brian? killing Sohee and whatnot~
That was fun... YuMing almost lost his job and I often went to work on Mondays sleepy.
And when I got my falcon as Hunter... wow!

Later on, I got hooked on Risk Your Life (RYL) with Bernard.
This was a game where Akhans (read as Orcs) fought Humans.
I know that it has a wierd name, but it had a good combat system.
And, you could buy in-game-money with real-world-money... HAHA!
So, the world was really abused...

I loved Final Fantasy Online.
I have played a few hours at it with Bernard and Kelvin.
But, I never owned an account.
I've just borrowed my friends' characters and watched over their shoulders.
This game is just too huge and time consuming.

The best online RPG that I took part in has got to be UO
Ultima Online... yea!
This would then be the story of a Ranger and the Shadow Dragon.
The ranger had weapons of great power like the Devastating Crossbow of the Void.
And the crazy time we (Bernard, Kelvin and I) had finding pieces for the Plate Armour of the Water Elemental.
I played that ages ago on a private server, UO with their own additions.

Shoutouts goes to Osiris, FouLu, Gembel and whoever else of Guild ~XTC~ !!!

I spent many great days and sleepless nights hunting ostards.
And fishing off the top of my small tower to level my useless skill.
Then it was off making fish steaks and then cooking said fish steaks on top of my guilds tower.
Then there was the combat with this crazy PK (read as player killer) who used this PowerPlayer class.
FouLu and Necro had a grand time trying to rescue most of us weaker guild members.

I remember playing as the Ranger class.
A LVL4 Ranger with high skill levels in taming and archery.

I remember taming a red dragon for the very first time.
FouLu had lent me a whole suit of Grandmaster items of Taming.
I had a pretty high skill level of about 120~ish in taming itself and a lot of luck.
The party got slaughtered the first time, but we persisted...
Then we succeeded in taming a few of these grand dragons.
They could talk... had some really sarcastic comments.

The guild kept one caged inside on the first floor of the guild tower.
HAHA! Got a fair few of my guild members killed while they were AFK (read as away from computer)
Then someone got an admin to come and kill my poor dragon...

We also tried taming a Golden Dragon once.
But, ultimately failed 'cause they were just too fast.

MMORPGs are really great.
But I gave it up and vowed never again...
Simply because MMORPGs really is a lifestyle unto it's own.

I'm only happy when it rains...

Hmmm... memories should have been a sin.

thoughts...

I think it's time I got new glasses/spectacles.
My current pair shows me anything 200 meters ahead as a vivid blur.
I was walking back from an evening stroll when I noticed that.
Noted also that the world is a lot more interesting through the haze.

Almost to my apartment I saw a silhouette... pink and black.
The pink was stationary but the black was rustling beneath.
It was almost ethereal because the background was stationary...
There was just the pink advancing and the black rustling towards me.

Closer?
I thought she was cute and was probably on the phone.
Wonder why I never heard her.

I just kept walking on.